The Anti-Pharisee Pharisee

Having been brought from the depths of legalism, and having been a "Pharisee of Pharisees", I often find myself fighting with my old self, or wrestling with a new version of that old self. For example, in Jesus story of the Pharisee and the publican in Luke 18, we see a contrast between them, and their dispositions by what they both say, and how they both consider themselves as they respond to God...

The Pharisee stood and prayed, "God, I thank you, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess." The publican, however, standing afar off, would not even lift his eyes to heaven, but smote upon his breast and said, "God be merciful to me a sinner."

Knowing what this story teaches, and having once been that Pharisee, I no longer find myself standing upright and thanking God that I do so much good, and that I am not a publican, but I have found myself postured differently, praying something along the lines of "God, I thank you, that I no longer think as I once did, self-righteous, prideful, boastful, thinking that I can earn my way to heaven, etc., etc., and that I am no longer a Pharisee", and inevitably, "God, I thank you, that I am no longer like those Pharisees...".

I see that, even though the posturing may have changed, and the words have been modified appropriately, the old man, although disguised, still rears his ugly head...

"God be merciful to me a sinner".